My husband jokes
“that’s not my job, you’re a grown woman and make your own choices,”
when I ask him not to let me go for that second glass of wine next time
and it gets me to thinking how profound those words are
because it’s easy to forget it wasn’t all that long ago when
women did not have a choice on far more important matters, like
voting
bodily agency
credit cards
higher education
divorce
owning property
male-dominated professions
and though changes were on their way
before I was born
fought for by generations
ahead of me
I don’t take the choice for granted
because even after women
had the legal power to make these decisions
sexism remained
men telling their wives who to vote for
my math teacher telling me not to worry when I struggled
because girls don’t need to know math
and how buying my first home all by myself
at the age of 51
had me both exuberant and terrified
because of all the voices from my past saying
she doesn’t know what she’s doing
girls can’t do that
if a bad thing happens, it’s her fault
they got divorced because she was a bitch
she doesn’t know what she’s talking about
she’s too big for her britches
just who does she think she is?
she’s aggressive
she should smile more
that shirt is too tight
that skirt is too short
she doesn’t have the right
she shouldn’t be allowed to choose
and I remember how men were bosses
and feeling powerless over inappropriate advances
from men who knew better
being asked if I ‘was on the rag”
and though these things still happen today
we, I’ve, women have a choice today and are buoyed up
by a growing sisterhood
and confident men
who remind us that we do get to make the decision,
we have the choice
we know what we are doing
we are not going back
we have a voice, we have internal power
and what a shame if we neglect that today
and if we don’t make our voices heard now
who do we blame?
©Robin Enright Salcido
