I haven’t had a moment of boredom but I also find that as the weeks have become a month, the creative things that I wanted to do just haven’t happened as I haven’t had the heart or inspiration to get to them…the heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach has totally squashed all creativity.
PANDEMIC JOURNAL DAY 20 – 15 APRIL 2020
My first experience of wearing a mask was not a good one… It went like this…
I had to stock up on groceries, so put on the synthetic white mask from a pack that Craig had in the garage when he was sanding our garden bench. Not ideal, but better than nothing.
I put on my red lipstick for the great occasion of making my way out into the world, after many days confined to our humble abode… only to realize that I needed to scrap that idea as, firstly, nobody would see me and, secondly, I would have red lipstick smudged all over my face and mask!
I got to the shop and put on my masked armor ….It made me feel quite anonymous! After working at two schools in the community for the last 12 years I am often greeted in the shops by various parents/scholars/colleagues… but I soon comprehended that nobody could recognize me and I couldn’t recognize anybody either. I noticed that the shops were weirdly quiet with little of the usual happy chatter. Anyway down the first isle in the shop and I felt that perhaps I needed a mint – I have been loading our meals with garlic – good for the immune system, they say… I dived into my bag to get a mint … only to realize that it would defeat the whole object by touching the sweet with my infected hands to pop it into my mouth. So I had to just deal with the breath.
The next problem was my age and not being able to see small writing anymore, adding to that was the huge white blob of the mask on the end of my nose obscuring my sight even more. By the time I was ready to hit the tills I felt like I needed fresh air and my eyes were raw and on fire ~ obviously sensitive to the synthetic mask. I was desperate to scratch my face. I finally got through the tills loaded the groceries into my car, jumped into my seat, yanked off the mask and gave my red inflamed face a good rub…. OH SHIT… just defeated the whole object of that trip! As a bit of an after- thought, I sanitized my hands and steering wheel anyway and headed off home … perhaps I will do better on the next trip?
PANDEMIC JOURNAL DAY 33 – 28 April 2020
Felt a bit bleh today. There are days when I feel the overwhelming sadness of the world and the fear of our unknown future to be such a weight on my shoulders. When we first went into lockdown it felt like we were heading towards two weeks holiday. I was thrilled to be able to potter around in my home which I love ~ then another two weeks were added to the time, and slowly reality started sinking in. We seem to have emerged into another sphere. A planet of masks, fear, huge job losses, hunger, uncertainty and lots of talk of World Depression. My feelings right now: scared, sad, tired. I’m having ‘COVID Dreams’ that are keeping me awake at night.
I haven’t had a moment of boredom but I also find that as the weeks have become a month, the creative things that I wanted to do just haven’t happened as I haven’t had the heart or inspiration to get to them…the heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach has totally squashed all creativity.
I did water my garden this morning and then we had a Thunderstorm with hail this arvie… kind of sums it all up.
Craig went to collect our rubbish bin that he put on the road for collection this morning. He was away for a while and I started to worry … only for him to come back to say that a couple of the men had gone to collect bins at the same time and stopped for a chat ~ something that one doesn’t realize how much you miss ~the daily contact and communication with other people.
PANDEMIC JOURNAL DAY 44 – 10 May 2020
So off we headed, in the allotted time that we are permitted to exercise in, to walk along our usual path beside the dam. We passed so many families who were relishing being out in the warm, autumn sunshine, away from the confines of their homes. My heart ached to hear a little girl questioning her mom why she wasn’t allowed to climb on the playground equipment but what struck me the most, was how much is conveyed through a stranger’s smile… and we are actually a nation of ‘smilers.’
How sad to be confronted by a sea of expressionless masks instead. How I wished today that I had been born with more of a twinkle in my eye to convey friendship to the strangers that we greeted along our way.
Anyway, Autumn is definitely here scattering a carpet of golden leaves along our path. Enough to brighten the spirits.
Deanne De Witt is a Personal Assistant to the Principal in a school in Johannesburg, South Africa. She turns 50 in October and has two children age 22 and 24. She and her husband have been married for 27 years.
