My paternal grandmother, who is pictured above loved parties and dancing. She loved being active and told me more than once after I excused myself to go to bed, “you can sleep when you’re dead.” According to my dad, she met Grandpa in a speakeasy where they (I like to imagine) danced the night away. Her house was often filled with friends and I can still recall all the women dancing the cha cha with a martini in one hand and a cigarette in the other. They taught me the cha cha when I was around 8 or 9. While I don’t know for sure, I think that’s when I began to yearn for dance lessons but it wasn’t in the cards.
My father recently gave me all the photo albums from my grandparents. There were six of them along with a pile of loose photos, many with captions and dates, some from the late 1800’s. I feel as if Grandma has come back to life and is right next to me these days. I’m hoping I have some of her joie de vivre and moxie. I’m getting to know her as a child, a young woman, and a mother — all sides of her that I am hungry for.
Even before I saw the above photo, I had been prodding my husband to take dance lessons. In February we began and as of yesterday we became bronze members at Arthur Murray, which means we now have access to a more personalized plan for lessons and unlimited access to group lessons and parties. We are having a blast doing something outside both of our comfort zones while learning something new together.
I’ve always enjoyed moving to music and weddings usually find me on the dance floor until I just can’t move any longer, but I have only had sporadic dance instruction until now. After my divorce a good friend and I took salsa lessons for a short time, but I really struggled learning both the leader and follower roles.
Dancing with Rob makes everything so much easier although we are still learning one another’s timing, never mind new steps. So far, we’ve learned the basic steps of rumba, salsa, foxtrot, tango, waltz, bachata and my favorite thanks to Grandma, the cha cha. We’ve even learned some turns.
Over the past few weeks, I realized that these dance lessons have become important to me for reasons even deeper than a date night with the man I love. My relationship with my body is more confident now and it’s not because I’m a stellar dancer. We are still beginners. The confidence is coming from a stronger connection to my body and appreciation for what it can do. When I look at pictures of Grandma as an older woman, I see someone open to new experiences and adventures well into her 80’s. I don’t see a woman trying to suck in her stomach or fading into the background. That is a powerful reminder about who I want to be.
For me, dancing is a wonderful way to exercise both my body and my mind (the mental part of learning new dance steps is intense) as well as spend time with my husband. I feel I’m channeling a part of Grandma that I never really knew…Grandma as a woman, as ‘Ruth.’ As a woman separate from her many other roles and wide open to experiencing all life had to offer.
Now we just need someone to invite us to a wedding so we can practice more 😉
To life long learning,
Robin
(P.S. This gift from my Dad is more than photographs–it’s history! Don’t avoid having yourself photographed because you don’t like the way you look. You’re the only one who sees your perceived faults. Gift the coming generation and PRINT YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS! Don’t leave them on your phone. I take a selection every year and create photo books for my family so that we all have memories to look back on.)
