Suddenly I had a plan. I wasn’t in self-flagellation mode any longer. I was ready for action! I signed up right away.

Cooking has never been my thing, as I mentioned in an earlier post. I do love to eat though.

My love of food, especially pastas, bagel sandwiches, quesadilla and gelato has caught up with me. I mean, I knew my jeans were tightening and my belly mortified me when I bent over, but hell, we are in the midst of a pandemic and the world has gone bat shit crazy. This girl was not going to go on a diet right now. No way.

Then I had my annual physical. You know how it goes, right? The first thing that happens is you step on the scale. Well, holy shit. I discovered I had gained six pounds since last fall. Something had to give.

Sitting in my hospital gown waiting for the doctor I choked back tears and texted my husband, “It’s official. I’m fat.” He’s a good man and immediately texted me back saying, no you aren’t and regardless I think you are beautiful.

I calmed down. Then I broached the subject with my doctor. She also reassured me I wasn’t fat, but when I told her I was worried about this rapid gain, she didn’t brush me off. “Don’t do one of those crazy diets,” she told me. Why not give Weight Watchers a try?” Her experience with women who had tried Weight Watchers was that they had kept the weight off, so I figured, why not?

We also decided I might experiment with eliminating gluten for a month to see if it helped because I’ve had bloating and stomach upset more often than I should.

Suddenly I had a plan. I wasn’t in self-flagellation mode any longer. I was ready for action! I signed up right away, ready to make a change.

Now, here’s the thing. I did this to lose weight, of course. But the real driving factor was to remain healthy as I aged in years. I want to be here to witness how my daughters and granddaughter’s lives unfold. There are so many things that I cannot change, but taking care of my body is in my hands, right?

My body has changed. This is a fact. 2020 has been a hellish year with more chaos and negativity than I have ever experienced. At first, I thought I deserved that extra helping and second glass of wine. I made excuses for binge watching Netflix or nibbling on chocolate.

For me, Weight Watchers has been a game changer. I’ve tried other things, but they seemed more about saying “no” than teaching me how to pay attention to my body. I thought I was eating fairly healthy, if too much, but I wasn’t. Turns out too, that I really like tracking what I am eating.

All that has really changed for me is portion control and lots of planning. In the past I would grab whatever was in the fridge when hungry and I didn’t really plan out meals. That has changed. I do eat more vegetables and beans and have not had bread in months and I feel better. Rob and I shop for the week and of course, the pandemic has us eating at home a lot more.

If I want to eat pumpkin pie, I eat it. When I am craving a few chips, I munch on them. But I’ve learned that everything is a trade off and I make choices that work best for me. Of course it helps that I love vegetables, soups and fish.

I’ve lost somewhere around six pounds. My goal is to lose ten more, though I know five is more likely. I’m averaging about a pound a week.

The gluten just doesn’t agree with me. It makes me feel like a slug! I was tested for celiac which was negative. We all have foods that don’t agree with us, right? (By the way, chickpea pasta is the bomb!)

The reason I wrote this post is not to say that I have the way to weight loss, because I don’t. Our bodies are all different and what works for me might not work for you. I’m writing this because if, like me, you have felt you have no control over your own body (and God knows we women in menopause tend to feel that way), maybe, just maybe, we have a bit more than we think.

I’ve had ups and downs. Some weeks nothing changes. One week I even gained back a pound. But I’m determined to keep eating healthy regardless of the scale because I feel better.

The changes I’ve made are actually quite small, and I like having a plan. I like paying attention to me.

Turns out having a plan is powerful.